


I Want This Forever

by amoureuxdeloup



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Sirius Black, Comfort/Angst, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Gay Remus Lupin, Gay Sirius Black, James Potter is a Good Friend, M/M, Minor James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Minor Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, POV Remus Lupin, Porn with Feelings, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Sad Sirius Black, Shameless Smut, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Top Remus Lupin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:20:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27498607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amoureuxdeloup/pseuds/amoureuxdeloup
Summary: Sirius Black is the front man of The Marauders, along with James Potter on the drums, Marlene McKinnon on the Guitar, and Dorcas Meadowes on bass. Suddenly the band blows up in what seems like overnight and are soon booked for an American tour. Remus Lupin gets hired onto the crew and soon starts to fall in love.TWS: homophobia, homophobic slurs, anxiety, panic attacks, swearing, smut, blood, abusive childhood friendship, flashbacks
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 9
Kudos: 85





	1. Chapter 1

“Are you ready boys?!” Sirius called to his friends in the parking lot. They were about to load the bus, getting ready for their first major tour. Remus was the newest addition to the team. He had worked with them at gigs before but was the first time that the crew would be this large. Thanks to the drummer James’ girlfriend Lily, who happened to be Remus’ best friend, he scored a spot on the team. 

“Fuck yeah!” Marlene called, turning to give Dorcas a big kiss on the cheek. Remus and Frank finished up packing all of the equipment into the bus and moved over to the rest of the guys. 

“Hey, Re, Frank- you get everything packed up? Are we ready to go?” James asked excitedly, shaking Lily by the shoulders.

“Everything’s ready, lets go.” Frank replied, waving the group over to the bus. Everyone filed on to the bus, taking their seats as they went. Remus settled into a seat about three quarters of the way back, sliding his phone out of his pocket to mindlessly scroll through social media. 

Remus glanced up and saw Sirius move to sit in the row of seats across from him. 

“Hey Re.” Sirius greeted, pulling his own phone out of his bag.

“Hey, are you ready to start the tour?” Remus asked.

“Yeah totally. This is all just so crazy though.” Sirius said, letting out a nervous laugh. 

“It’s gonna be great. You guys are great and not to mention people love you. You hit like number one on the rock charts.” Remus rambled, throwing his hands in gestures.

“I guess you’re right,” Sirius laughed, “It’s just still so hard to believe.” 

Remus watched Sirius run a hand through his hair, slightly revealing the tattoos that peaked out from his shirt. 

“So how do you feel about touring with us? I know you usually only do single gigs and stuff…” Remus took a deep breath, pondering his answer.

“Well- I’m excited. Especially because I get to spend time with you guys. I mean you’re one of the nicest and most fun bands to work with, not gonna lie.” Sirius smiled and thanked him.

“Okay I’m gonna try and take a nap, it’s early and I didn’t sleep much last night. Talk to you in a bit.” Sirius said, wiggling down in his seat to get himself more comfortable.

Remus turned back to his phone. About thirty minutes had passed since they had first gotten on the bus, clocking in at about 4:37 am. The group had to leave early if they wanted to get from Chicago to NYC by noon. 

The bus stayed deathly quiet for hours until about ten am, when most everyone began to wake up. Remus too had fallen asleep during this time, waking up to James screaming something about drum techniques.

“Hey Prongs- shut the fuck up!” Remus called up, a slight annoyance in his voice.

“Remus don’t test me- I will fire you!” James joked, pointing at Remus.

“James, I know Lily won’t let that happen.” Remus responded. Lily popped her head up over her seat and nodded at Remus, a smile on her face.

After unloading bags and suitcases, their manager Minnie split from them to go get the hotel keys, having them stay on the bus and only leave two at a time, not wanting any unwanted pictures taken. Remus peaked out of his window to see a group of photographers waiting outside of the hotel. 

“Hey guys- the snakes are already outside.” Marlene announced.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Sirius responded, his face full of annoyance.

“Uh I don’t mean to be a dumbass… but who are the snakes?” Remus asked timidly.

“They’re the uh- paparazzi.” Dorcas responded, glancing out the window. 

Several minutes later, Minnie returned to the bus, handing out key cards. 

“Alright everyone, photographers are outside right now so please don’t interact. Sirius, Remus, how about you go in first.” Minnie said standing at the front of the bus. 

“Thank you Minnie.” Sirius said, slipping his sunglasses on and motioning for Remus to come with him. 

The two began to walk as they heard the click of cameras. Sirius had never experienced this before. With his new found fame he noticed a new found lack of privacy. Once they got inside The two got in the elevator, and thankfully they were alone.

“I’m sorry about that Moons, I’m not really used to it yet either so y’know.” Remus glanced down at the crescent moon tattoo on his wrist and smiled at the pet name. 

“Hey, it’s alright man. Don’t sweat it.” Sirius shot him a smile and the elevator door opened.

“I’m gonna have some of the other crew come hang out with me and the band tomorrow after the show if you want to come.” Sirius offered, stopping at his door.

“Yeah that sounds great Pads.” 

Remus moved down the hall, almost to the end, and swiped his key card, entering his hotel room. He dropped his bag and laid on the bed, taking in a deep breath. Remus was noticing the small crush forming on his friend,  _ his boss _ . He just had to make it to the end of tour, a couple more months and he would be fine. 

After going out for a late lunch/early dinner with the team Remus came back to his room, completely drained. It was around five pm so he decided to waste some time by watching a movie. After about forty-five minutes, an incessant chatter from the next room over started. He couldn’t believe how two people could be so  _ utterly loud _ . He tried to ignore it for several minutes but couldn’t bear it anymore. He had to get away from the noise. 

He pulled his phone out and hesitantly texted Sirius.

_ Um hey, I’m sorry to bother you but whoever is in the room next to me is really fucking loud, can I come chill in your room for a bit? _

Remus felt his heart sink as he sent it,  _ did he make a mistake? _ Before he could completely regret it, he saw Sirius typing. 

_ Of course you can. You can stay here too if you'd like. I have an extra bed or we can share, whatever makes you most comfortable. _

Remus blushed at the offer and quickly took him up on it, grabbing his bag and walking down the hall. Remus knocked in a triplet and heard Sirius run toward the door.

“Hi Moony.” Sirius smiled, letting him in.

“Are you sure you don’t mind me staying with you?” Remus asked again, putting his stuff down in the corner. 

“I really don’t mind at all Re.” Sirius responded, putting a hand on the boy’s shoulder. Remus smiled and moved to sit on the other bed.

“Y’know- I’m surprised that you’re not out partying or anything.” Remus laughed. Sirius let out a chuckle and sat across from him on his own bed.

“Yeah, I’m not super into that. My family was full of alcoholics and drug addicts and shit. Since we had money they had access to it too. I’m just not into that.” Sirius said, looking at his hands.

“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean-” Remus shrunk in on himself a bit as Sirius cut him off.

“No it’s alright. Don’t worry about it.” He said sweetly, walking over to the television to turn it on. 

The two talked for a couple more hours, running through several movies. 

“Alright I think I’m going to go to sleep. It’s gonna be a long day tomorrow.” Sirius said, stretching. Remus watched as the boy’s shirt rode up, revealing his stomach and part of a dog pad tattoo. 

“That sounds like a good idea. Especially because I have to be to the venue a couple hours before you do.” Remus responded, laying on the bed. Sirius turned the light off, leaving the room in total darkness.

“Goodnight Remus.” Sirius said softly.

“Goodnight Sirius.”

*

Remus woke up to a ringing coming from across the room. He blinked his eyes open and adjusted to the light, stretching his legs. Remus sat up as Sirius opened the bathroom door, stepping out in only a towel, his hair dripping onto the carpet. 

“Hey I’m so sorry, It’s Minnie I didn’t mean to wake you.” Sirius rambled, grabbing his phone. His towel slipped down a little further past his hips on the back and all Remus could do was stare. Sirius walked back into the bathroom with his phone up to his ear, no doubt covering the screen in water.

Remus buried his eyes in his hands, mentally cursing himself for his reaction.  _ Of course he had to stare. _

About ten minutes after the phone rang Sirius walked out of the bathroom, his phone still pressed up to his ear, but this time wearing a pair of faded black jeans. He walked to the side table, jokingly ruffling Remus’ bedhead before leaning down to scribble something on a post-it note on the side table. 

Remus’ eyes traced Sirius’ figure. The curve of his hips and the slight outline of muscles in his arms. He had an anatomical heart tattooed in the center of his chest and several more miscellaneous tattoos littering the skin. Remus’ eyes landed on one tattoo, but he couldn’t see the entirety, only a small portion. Remus felt light headed as he thought about seeing the whole tattoo. He was knocked out of his trance when he heard Sirius bid goodbye to Minivera and set his phone on his bed, turning to his bag to grab a shirt. 

“So Minnie wants us all to meet for lunch then she’s going to have you, Frank, Alice, Pete, and Mary go to the venue and unpack the equipment and do a sound check. Then we're all gonna come to the venue and chill before the show.” Sirius rambled, a soft look on his face. 

“Sounds like a plan. Do you want to get breakfast this morning or just wait.” Remus asked, silently hoping he’d want to go somewhere with just the two of them.

“Breakfast sounds great, Re.” Sirius said sweetly, putting his phone and wallet into his pocket and slipping his round ‘Lennon esque’ sunglasses onto his face.

The two walked down stairs, shooting a text to the crew groupchat of where they were going. They thankfully were able to leave the hotel without seeing any cameras and began to walk down the street. They walked for about several blocks as Sirius told Remus the wacky dream he had.

“So then I was just sitting in my kitchen, talking to this fucking serial killer as he ate a sandwich-” Sirius laughed. Remus looked over at him with an amused face and stopped in front of a restaurant. 

“Orion’s belt café- fun, fun.” Sirius chuckled, grabbing Remus’ hand and pulling him inside. 

The two read the ‘seat yourself’ sign and made they’re way to a table far in the back corner. “Okay what are going to get good sir?” Remus said, glancing up from his menu. 

“Probably an omelet and a coffee.” Sirius said, fiddling with the napkin holder. 

A waitress soon made her way over to the table.

“Morning gentlemen. What can I get started for you?” She asked, getting ready to write on her notepad.

“I’ll have a water”

“I’ll have a coffee.” Sirius added on, fiddling with his menu. The waitress nodded along and went to go grab their drinks when Sirius leaned across the table. 

“I reaaaallllyyy hope this girl doesn’t recognize me. I just want to eat in peace.” Sirius whispered with a slight laugh.

The woman came back with the drinks, handing Sirius a ramekin full of creamer as well. 

“Are we ready to order?” She asked. The two ordered as Sirius stirred the creamer into his coffee. As he went to take a sip, the steam fogged up his glasses. Sirius timidly took his glasses off, praying to any god that would hear that no one would know who he was. 

“Oh you’re Sirius Black, nice.” She said coolly. Sirius let out a sigh of relief and took a sip of his coffee. As the woman left Remus let out a laugh,

“That was great.” he remarked, drinking out of his straw. 

“Shut up Re.” Sirius said, sinking into his seat.

After breakfast the two walked around for a bit, Sirius replacing his sunglasses before leaving the café. They ran around the city, going to random oddity shops and bookstores, as well as record stores as per Sirius’ request. They quickly caught a cab back to the hotel to meet the others for lunch, boba tea that they had bought from an overpriced store in hand.

“Where have you guys been all day?” Dorcas laughed as they walked to the restaurant.

“We decided to go around town.” Sirius responded, shooting the girl a smile.

“That's gay.” Marlene snorted.

“You’re literally gay, Marlene.” Sirius shot back, “Also it wasn’t a date we were just hanging out.” Remus blushed and kept his head down. 

Remus felt a sigh of relief as they left the restaurant after lunch. It wasn’t just full of people but it was loud and kind of dark and Remus just wasn’t having it. 

“Are you doing okay?” Sirius whispered, leaning over to Remus’ ear.

“Yeah it was just kinda loud and cramped.” Remus whispered back. Sirius rubbed a hand on Remus’ back as they walked. 

“Okay, crew let’s hop on the bus. We’ll come pick up you all around five.” Minnie said, hands collapsed to her chest. 

*

It was ten minutes until showtime. Remus had barely seen Sirius all night. 

“Moony!” Sirius called excitedly, one earpiece hanging out.

“Sirius- how are you feeling?” Remus asked, reciprocating the excitement.

“Amazing.” Sirius felt a buzz in his pocket,

“Shit- I gotta go to soundcheck. I’ll see you after the show.” Remus watched Sirius jog over to the stage entrance. The boy let out a sigh as he went to his spot on the edge of the stage with Frank and Lily, slipping his headphones on. Lily gave Remus a large smile and a thumbs up as a guitar rang out. 

Through headphones, Remus could hear the scream of the audience, a sense of pride flowing through him. He was proud; of his friends, of  _ Sirius _ . He stood there for the entire show, staring at the boy. He was mesmerizing to say the least. Before he knew it, the set was over. 

Sirius came running off the stage, a huge smile on his face. He pulled Remus into a tight hug, not caring that he was drenched in sweat. 

“Pads- that was amazing!” he yelled over the noise. Sirius just smiled wider, looking as though he was about to tear up.

“I can’t believe I did it- I made it!” Remus let a wide grin spread across his face and the group on stage right all walked back, getting ready to break down the stage. 

The crew and band went to meet Minnie, standing with a very proud smile on her face. 

“Alright everyone- let's get those instruments on the bus.” She clapped and sent them on their way. Remus left Sirius to go do his job but pulled him in for one last hug. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWS- Blood- depictions of violence- homophobic slurs !!!!

They soon got back to the hotel, everyone being exhausted. Remus was about to go down the hall before he remembered he didn’t have to, following Sirius into his room.

“I’m serious Pads, that was amazing.” Remus spoke.

“I mean I probably could have done better-” Sirius started,

“Shut the fuck up- you did great.” Remus laughed, flopping onto his bed.

“Okay I should probably take a shower really quick, I can go back to my room so you can take one too but I’ll come back.” Remus rambled, grabbing his room key.

“Okay- I’ll be here.”

Remus ran back to his room, quickly getting into the shower. He sat under the spray, he couldn’t believe they did it,  _ and it went so well _ . They put on a great show, it looked great,  _ Sirius looked great _ . He quickly finished his shower, trying to not let his thoughts wander too far. He got dressed and made his way back to Sirius’ hotel room, sitting on his bed and pulling out his laptop.

A wet haired Sirius emerged from the bathroom, wearing grey sweats and a Fugazi shirt.“Hey, I’m gonna watch a movie, you wanna watch too?” Sirius’ head shot up and he gave Remus a soft smile, moving to sit next to Remus. 

“Love to,” he shifted his body to get more comfortable before talking again. 

“So, what are we watching Moons?” 

“I was uh- thinking Monty Python and the holy grail?” Remus stuttered, still a little surprised with the whole situation. 

“Sounds great.” Sirius said sweetly. 

About twenty minutes into the movie, Remus noticed how close he and Sirius had gotten. Remus glanced over slightly, Sirius’ head lay on his shoulder, his knee pressed up against his thigh, his left hand dancing on the edge of his arm as the other one tapped beats on his leg. Remus leaned into it, trying best not to internally freak out. Thoughts began to flow through Remus’ head, a pit of warmth settling in the pit of his stomach at one particular thought. He could so easily just snake his hand over and intertwine their fingers, the thought of the small gesture sent chills down Remus’ spine. 

Sirius drew in a deep breath, shifting his weight and leaning impossibly closer into Remus’ side, turning the head that was leaning on his shoulder to face his neck. Remus tipped his head to the side a bit, giving Sirius more room to settle. Sirius noticed the movement and slowly tipped his head up, gently nosing at the side of Remus’ neck. Remus closed his eyes and let his head fall a bit farther to the side. 

Sirius reached to grab Remus’ hand, locking their fingers. He pressed up, placing a hesitant yet firm kiss on the side of Remus’ neck, in turn making Remus sigh heavily. Remus felt Sirius’ hot breath on his neck and it was making him feel light headed. With a rush of confidence, Remus slid his computer off of his lap, the movie now long forgotten and shifted so he was facing Sirius. With the hand that wasn’t holding Sirius’, he wound it around the back of Sirius’ neck, pulling him closer. Sirius didn’t say a word, just continued to press kisses to the other boys neck. Remus melted into the feeling, he felt Sirius kiss his way to his jaw, nipping at the skin lightly. 

Sirius pulled away, glancing down at Remus’ lips and back to his eyes, asking permission. Remus nodded, beginning to pull Sirius in when a loud ringing erupted from next to them. Remus could feel Sirius’ breath on his lips before he pulled away, fishing around for his phone that was still ringing. 

“Shit, sorry I have to take this.” Sirius said as he got off the bed quickly, making his way out of the room. 

Remus watched him leave the room and let out a breath. He could hear the muffled voice of the boy on the other side of the door. He sat on his bed, waiting for Sirius to return but also wishing he never would, too afraid to face him.

Before Remus could let his thoughts get the best of him, Sirius was re-entering the room.

“Hey I’m sorry about that I just- my mum.” Sirius rambled, sitting down on his own bed across the room. Remus felt his stomach drop slightly,  _ he fucked something up, didn’t he? _

“Are you uh- are you alright?” Remus asked hesitantly. Sirius didn’t look up, he kept his gaze down, hands resting on his knees.

“Not really-” Sirius took a deep breath.

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

“Um it’s okay, can we just finish the movie?” Sirius whispered, finally looking up at Remus with tear filled eyes.

“Yeah- of course.” He responded. Sirius made his way across the room, returning to Remus’ side, but this time just shifting more into his shoulder, not making any advances.

*

The next morning as the team got on the bus to go to Boston, Remus was startled by a surprising text message.

_ I heard you got a new ‘job’, maybe try getting a real one next time. Be a real adult Remus. I bet your parents are disappointed too.  _

Somehow Fenrir got his number again. They're parents may have been friends but Fenrir was not his. They were twenty-one, why was he still taunting him like he was a child. He felt himself slipping into a trance, everything was happening all over again.

_ Sixteen, sitting in the field that they considered ‘their place’. Fenrir hesitantly pressed forward, lightly kissing the boy in front of him. Lily walked down the path, jokingly whistling at the boys as she walked to meet them. Fenrir pushed Remus off. _

_ “Get off me you dirty fag.” Fenrir laughed, shooting him a glance. _

_ “What's the plan for today gents?” Lily asked, kicking the glass around her with her foot. _

_ “I have an idea- follow me  _ **_ladies_ ** _.”  _

_ They walked for what seemed like forever to a large hill. Fenrir gave a mischievous grin to Remus, _

_ “You wanna race me down the hill?” Remus smiled back and nodded. They began to run, Remus easily pulling ahead. He ran down the winding path, the hill being lined with thistle and rose bushes.  _

_ Just then Remus heard something from behind him, turning his head for a second to ask what his friend had said. _

_ “I said have fun fucking fag-” Fenrir had caught up to him and he kicked him in the knee, watching Remus fall off the rocky path he had run so many times, and into the foliage, trying to grip at the earth but he was slipping too fast. _

_ Once Remus reached the bottom he could hear Lily’s scream. She had been following them down, just not running as fast. Fenrir shot her a look. He turned to walk away but before he did he said one last thing to the boy. _

_ “So sorry about that Remus- but next time you should think before being a faggot in front of other people.” _

_ He laid there, feeling blood pooling on his skin and head. He hadn’t even initiated the kiss, he didn’t do anything. Thorns had cut deep into his skin, leaving large gashes and cuts.  _

_ “Remus-! Remus oh my god.” Lily rambled, making her way through the brush, trying to get to her friend. _

_ “Remus- can you hear me?” _

_ “Lily- I- I don’t want to die.” Remus babbled, trying to focus on the redhead above him. _

_ “You’re not going to die, here get on my back, we're not too far from home.”  _

_ The two began to walk through the trees, taking a shortcut to get to the neighborhood that they lived in. They had been in these woods so many times and knew every inch of it.  _

_ “Alright Re, you still awake back there?” Lily asked timidly, holding her breath for an answer. _

_ “...yes. Lily? Please lie for me. Tell them I slipped, please I-“ Remus responded, letting his bloodied head lay on Lily’s shoulder. _

_ “Okay, were almost there, just focus on me.” Lily responded, her voice shaky.  _

_ They finally made it back to the Lupin's house, Hope and Lyall running out of the door once they saw the children coming up the driveway. _

_ “Oh my lord, Lily what happened?” Hope cried as Lyall took Remus from the girl’s back.  _

_ “I don’t know- one minute I was coming to meet Fenrir and Remus and we went to race down the hill and Remus tripped and began to fall- Fenrir didn’t see I guess he had already started walking home?” Lily continued to explain as Remus’ parents laid him in the backseat, motioning Lily to sit with him. Lily continued to explain- saying that Remus had told her about his relationship with him, how Fenrir seemed to be in love, then everything clicked. _

“Remus?  _ Remus _ .” Sirius said, shaking the boy’s shoulder.

“Wha-?” Remus looked over, seeing Sirius kneeling in the aisle.

“We're already here, come on, let's go inside Moons.” Remus, still in somewhat of a trance, followed Sirius up to their hotel room. He dropped his bags on the ground and walked over to the bed across the room. 

“Do you want to go to lunch with us?” Sirius asked softly as Remus stared at the ceiling. 

“No it’s okay, I just want to sleep right now.” Sirius nodded and quietly left. 

Remus sunk down further into his mattress and let sleep over take him.

_ He was there. They were running. Then he was falling. Blood. So much fucking blood.  _

Remus woke up, covered in a cold sweat. 

“No, no,  _ nonono-“  _ his hands flew to his neck and chest, trying to feel for any blood. 

“Remus?” Remus let a sob tear through the room. He heard Sirius make his way across the floor. 

“Fuck, fuck- no no no-“ Remus mumbled, still feeling around his body. 

“Remus.” Remus snapped out of it and he looked up at Sirius. His eyes adjusted on the boy's face, the tears slightly obstructing his view. 

“Sirius-“ Remus heaved, dropping his head. Sirius sat on the edge of Remus' bed, tightly wrapping his arms around him. 

“Hey you’re alright. You’re alright.” He whispered, rubbing shapes onto the boy’s back. 

“He- the guy w-who gave me the… sc-scars.” Remus stuttered, his whole body shaking. 

“What?”

“We were just kids. I don’t understand. He-“ Remus paused trying to steady his breathing, but failing. 

“He just wanted to race down the hill- he left me there. He left me-“ Remus was crying again, gripping at Sirius’ shirt. Sirius pulled him down gently, letting him lay on his chest, shushing him quietly. 

Remus buried his head into the other boy’s neck, shamelessly letting tears fall onto his skin. His breath had begun to calm down slightly, but he still felt his heart racing. As his mind came back to reality and he was finally able to stop the sobbing. 

“Why?” Remus breathed finally, feeling his stomach flip with anxiety.

“Why what?” Sirius responded, his voice just as soft.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Remus whispered, breathing deeply. 

“Because, I care about you Moony.” Remus pushed his face into Sirius neck as his eyelids became heavy.

After falling asleep for another half hour Remus woke up to warmth wrapped around his body. 

“Hi there.” Sirius said quietly, running a hand through the boy’s hair. Remus sat up, blush rising up his neck. 

“I’m sorry about earlier-” Remus began.

“You’re alright, don’t worry about it.” Sirius sat up as well, rubbing circles on Remus’ back. 

“My uh- well a family friend messaged me… he’s the one who… I just don’t understand.” Remus mumbled. Sirius looked at him, tipping his chin up. 

“You’re safe, Moony.” 

Remus leaned his head against Sirius’ shoulder and let out a sigh.

“‘M sorry.” he muttered.

“It’s okay Re, come on, let’s get some food.” Sirius said.

“It’s fine I’m not that hungry.” he replied, head still down.

“Nope, you haven’t eaten anything today. Plus we can stay here if you want and get room service.” Remus reluctantly agreed and let Sirius move to grab the phone, settling himself to sit against the headboard. 

Remus reluctantly ate the food even though he didn’t have much of an appetite, but he did it to keep Sirius happy. The day had flown by and the two decided not to join the rest of their friends for dinner and instead stay in, watching tv and talking.

“Jesus Christ it’s fucking cold in here.” Remus muttered, getting under the blankets of Sirius’ bed. 

“Come ‘ere then.” Sirius responded, motioning for Remus to come closer. The boy shifted closer to Sirius and then had arms warped around him, pulling him close to his chest. Remus blushed slightly and leaned his head into Sirius’ shoulder. 

“I’m gonna turn the lights off really quick.” Sirius whispered, letting go of Remus quickly to lean over and turn the lamp off. Remus re-buried his face into the boy and breathed him in, hoping this could happen again but knowing it probably wouldn’t.

Remus woke up the next morning, the warmth next to him gone. 

“Good morning.” Sirius said from across the room, lacing his shoes. 

“‘Mmm where are you going?” Remus grumbled, half of his face buried in the covers. 

“Minnie wants to have breakfast with me.” He explained, grabbing his wallet off of the table. Remus grumbled again and closed his eyelids.

“I’ll be back in a bit Moons.” Sirius said, leaving the boy to fall back asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw- smut time bb

The day came and went, quicker than expected. The team was leaving the venue when Sirius spoke,

“Please come with me to the party tonight. The local opener is hosting.” Sirius begged, giving Remus puppy dog eyes.

“I don’t know,” 

“Pleeeeaaasssse.” Sirius begged, jokingly batting his eyelids.

“Okay fine, but you owe me.” 

The two got ready, changing out of their sweats into something nicer. Remus stood in front of the mirror fiddling with his hair when he saw Sirius slip into the bathroom. They made eye contact for a second before Sirius muttered something along the lines of “pretty.”

Sirius and Remus walked out of the hotel and down the block to a medium sized town house. Remus feeling a mixture of anticipation and nerves itching through his body. He hadn’t actually ever been to a real party. Yeah he had friends but they just weren’t party people. Once they got inside his anxieties melted slightly. 

“Pads! Come ‘ere, I gotta show you this!” James yelled when his friend entered. 

“So, how are you enjoying tour life?” Lily asked, taking a sip of her drink,

“Oh I forgot, do you want a drink?” Remus didn’t answer her first question and instead followed Lily to their small kitchen to get himself a gin and tonic. As he was taking a sip he heard Lily greeting Marlene and decided to leave the two of them.

Remus sat there in the same spot, wondering to himself why he came. Sirius was with James, Lily was talking to her other friends, and he was once again alone. Remus then glanced up, seeing Sirius walking toward him.

“Hey man- what’s up?”

“Do you wanna come get another drink with me?” Sirius smiled. Remus glanced down at his empty cup and followed Sirius through the house. 

“Sirius, where are you going, the kitchen is right there-” Sirius pulled him into the hall and around the corner.

“Can I kiss you?” He breathed, his eyes wild.

“What?” Remus asked, barley making a sound.

“Can I kiss you?” Sirius asked again. Remus felt his breath stop for a second and he pushed forward, kissing Sirius softly. Sirius pulled him closer, kissing him deeper. Remus felt like his knees were going to buckle as he took in Sirius. How he smelled like pine and vodka, and how he tasted like lime and spearmint.

“Wait- wait.” Remus pushed Sirius back looking down.

“We’re friends, I- you’re drunk. You’re going to regret this in the morning-” Sirius cut the rambling boy off,

“I haven’t had any alcohol tonight- a girl spilled her drink on my jacket…” He paused.

“But I understand if you want to stop.” Sirius whispered, stepping back. Remus rushed forward again, this time pressing a bruising kiss to Sirius’ lips.

“How about we get you back to the room and  _ get you out of those dirty clothes _ .” Remus breathed into the boy’s ear, biting lightly at his neck. Sirius blushed deeply and grabbed Remus’ hand, pulling out the door. 

They walked back in silence, not sharing a word until they opened their hotel door. The next thing he knew, Remus was being attacked with kisses. He hummed into it and moved the two of them over to the bed, crawling on top of Sirius.

“God you’re fucking hot-” Remus breahed as he moved his head to kiss Sirius’ neck. Sirius pushed his head back, giving more access to Remus. Remus was completely engrossed in him, focusing on the little sounds he could pull out of the boy.

“Now, about those clothes…” Remus whispered. Sirius sat up, pushing his jacket off and pulling his shirt off from the collar. Remus laughed lightly, stopping as he felt Sirius’ cold hands, pushing his shirt up. Remus quickly grabbed the bottom, whipping it off and returning hungrily back to Sirius’ mouth. He felt Sirius rake his fingers across his back, lightly tracing the scars. Remus broke the kiss momentarily, pushing their foreheads together. 

“Is something wrong?” Sirius asked, his eyes full with worry. Remus shook his head and let out a wet laugh. 

“No it’s fine I just- I don’t know…” he trailed off. 

“Do you want to stop…?” Sirius asked timidly. 

“ _ God no _ .”

Sirius leaned forward, kissing Remus roughly. Remus hummed and grabbed Sirius’ hips, pushing his fingers below the boy’s waistband. As Sirius pushed his tongue into Remus’ mouth he took his hand and began to unbutton his jeans.

“Are you sure you want this?” Sirius asked breathlessly. 

“Yes, I’m positive.” Remus whispered. He pushed Sirius pants down, leaving him only in his underwear and then began to work on his own. As soon as both of them were only in their boxers, Remus looked down at Sirius, the boy’s face flushed and his lips slightly parted. Remus kissed him softly and moved his hips on Sirius’ growing erection. Sirius let out a choked moan as he chased the friction. 

Remus pushed down again, playing with the elastic on Sirius’ underwear. 

“Hm, fuck. Please-” Sirius choked, trying his best to continue with the hip movement. Remus kissed him slow and dirty as he pulled Sirius’ boxers down, letting his cock spring free. Sirius whimpered quietly as he palmed his dick. 

“Let me help you Pads.” Remus muttered, removing Sirius’ hand and replacing it with his own. 

“ _ Fuck- _ ” Sirius slipped his hand into Remus’ boxers and grabbed him, pulling a soft moan out. 

Remus pulled his boxers down and grabbed the two of them in one hand, pushing their bodies together and pumping slowly. Sirius let his head fall back, letting out a series of soft sounds. Remus sped his hand up and leaned down, kissing Sirius again. After several minutes Remus began to speed his hand up again, faster this time, letting out a stream of cuss words.

“Fuck Re- God, I’m gonna-  _ fuck _ .” Sirius stuttered, holding onto Remus’ shoulders. Remus leaned down to Sirius’ neck and began to suck on his pulse point, feeling Sirius' breath hitch. He let out a couple more moans before coming between them, his breathing erratic. Remus pulled back to look at Sirius’ face, his lips were red from all of the kissing, a hickey was forming on his neck, and his hair sticking to his skin, he was  _ gorgeous _ . Remus gave himself several more pulls and let his head fall forward and he hit a high of his own, moving to press his forehead into the boy’s shoulder. Remus let himself fall next to Sirius on the bed, his chest heaving. 

“Shit baby-” he panted, staring at the ceiling. 

“God, Moony. You’re perfect.” Sirius whispered, a smile on his face. 

Remus pushed up on his elbow, leaning over Sirius. He placed a soft kiss on his lips then moved off the bed, walking to the bathroom. Sirius rolled his head to look at Remus standing there, looking for a towel. Lupin laughed when he felt the pair of eyes on him, looking back to see Sirius’ eyelids heavy with lust. 

He walked back to the bed and took the towel and began to clean Sirius up as the boy sat up and pushed his face into Remus’ shoulder. 

“You alright there Pads?” Remus asked, his voice slightly hoarse. 

“I’m fantastic.” Sirius mumbled, smiling into Remus’ skin. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw - smut, anxiety,

Remus blinked his eyes open as he heard the sound of his phone alarm, coming from a different part of the room from usual. Every morning Remus has his phone in the same spot on his bed, right below his pillow, but this time it echoed from the floor, slightly muffled by clothes. Sirius stirred next to him and that’s when Remus remembered. He smiled to himself, as the boy flipped to face him.

“Mm- morn’ng.” Sirius spoke, his voice cracking on the vowels. Remus threaded a hand into Sirius’ messy hair and smiled. 

“Hi there.” Sirius hummed happily and snuggled into the other boy’s neck. 

“Pads- we gotta get up.” Remus pleaded, sitting up. Sirius pressed a soft kiss to Remus’ skin and then sat up, moving to the edge of the bed. Remus moved behind him, snaking an arm around the boy’s bare waist. 

“Sirius?” Remus asked hesitantly. Sirius turned his head and his face fell inches away from Remus’, their lips close to touching.

“Was this just- was this just a one time thing?” Sirius turned his head back and took a deep breath. 

“Only if that’s what you want.” Sirius whispered back, dropping his head.

“I don’t want it to be-” Remus stopped, he felt the heat return, Sirius’ breath dancing on his lips. 

The two pushed forward and kissed softly, breathing each other in. 

“Please don’t let this just be a hookup.” Remus whispered against the boy’s lips. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Sirius responded, pressing one last kiss to the taller boy’s lips. 

“Okay I have to take a shower- then we gotta get on the bus.” Remus said, getting up to sift through his bag. Sirius walked up behind him and grabbed Remus’ hips. 

“Why don’t we shower together.” He whispered. Remus turned to look at him and slotted their lips together. 

The two kissed for a couple more minutes before Remus picked Sirius up and walked him to the bathroom, letting him down in the doorway. Remus moved to turn on the shower as Sirius stood behind him. The taller boy turned around and looked him over. 

He walked forward and pressed a slow kiss to the boy's lips, pulling him back into the shower. 

“I’m sorry I don’t really feel like-“ Sirius smiled softly,

“It’s okay. Me neither.” Sirius pushed his face into the other boy's shoulder and smiled into his skin. 

“How come you’re so amazing?” Sirius asked quietly before saying another sentence. 

“Here- Re, let me wash your hair for you.” Sirius whispered, looking at Remus with soft eyes. Remus nodded and Sirius began to massage the boy's scalp.

“You’re beautiful.” Sirius blurted, taking a slightly soapy hand and tracing the edge of Remus’ face. Remus blushed lightly and rubbed his thumb on the boy’s hip.

“Shut up.” He said jokingly, rolling his eyes.

“I mean it Re.” He pressed, his face suddenly becoming soft. Remus kissed him lightly, then looked back up. Sirius' eyes were transfixed on Remus’, pupils dilated slightly.

After their shower the two got ready and ran downstairs to the bus.

“Boys, you’re late.” James said in his ‘mother hen’ voice. 

“Sorry, sorry Prongs, I took too long in the shower.” Sirius turned back and gave Remus a quick wink, making Remus feel a red hot flush running up his neck. The two walked to the back and settled down, sitting across the aisle from each other. 

Remus stared down at his phone as everyone settled into their seats. He felt it buzz in his hand and he glazed down.

_ Can’t wait to get the hotel so I can kiss the fuck out of you. _

Remus blushed a deep red and looked over at the boy next to him. Sirius smiled mischievously, and frustratingly for Remus, turning back to look out the window. Remus went into his messenger, pondering on what he should respond with.

_ We can do way more than that if you’d like. _

Remus bit his lip as he watched Sirius’ face. The boy looked down at his phone as he took a sip of water from his water bottle. His face became bright red and he choked on his drink.

_ Is that a promise? _

_ Definitely. _

Because of this conversation, the ride to the hotel was almost unbearable. Remus sat uncomfortably in his seat feeling a sense all of  _ want,  _ no,  _ need. _ He hadn’t felt like this in so long, and he didn’t want it to end.

Soon after reaching their destination, Remus didn’t even bother going to his own room, instead just following Sirius inside his. Before he could drop his bag, Remus was being pressed up against the wall, Sirius kissing him hard. Remus hummed into it and tilted his head to the side, allowing Sirius more access.

Remus wrapped his hand around to grab Sirius’ ass, pulling him impossibly closer. Remus began to push Sirius back, Sirius’ knees hitting the edge of the bed before he fell back onto it. Remus pulled away breathlessly, his lips red and swollen.

“Do you still want to?” he whispered. Sirius nodded,

“Yes.’ he whispered breathlessly, pulling Remus back down by the nape of his neck. 

Remus climbed on top of the other boy, settling his thighs around his hips. A soft smile spread across his face as he looked down at the other boy. 

“How are you always so pretty?” Sirius let out a soft chuckle and shook his head. 

“I disagree but okay.” Remus kissed Sirius hard, as if trying to convince him. Sirius just smiled into it. 

Remus pulled at Sirius’ shirt, whining slightly. 

“Off.” he muttered into his lips. Sirius quickly obliged, sitting up and whipped his shirt off, throwing it off the bed. Remus stared at his chest for a second, tracing the anatomical heart tattoo before looking back up to meet Sirius’ eyes. Remus pulled his own shirt off and pressed another kiss to Sirius’ lips, pushing him back against the bed. 

Sirius ran a hand through the boy’s hair and sighed into the kisses, tracing Remus’ neck with his other. 

“What do you want me to do baby?” Remus whispered, beginning to kiss down Sirius’ neck. Sirius’ breath caught briefly before responding. Remus pulled back and met his eyes. 

“Fuck me?” He breathed, staring up at him. Remus nodded quickly, pressing forward for another kiss. 

Remus rocked down on Sirius’ hips, pulling a moan out of him. He smiled and repeated the action, a moan unexpectedly punching out of his own chest. Sirius reached to unbuckle Remus’ pants and when the boy began to speak. 

“Shit, shit, I don’t have anything-“ he started. Sirius reached for his wallet in his back pocket, pulling out a small foil wrapper. Remus smiled lightly and took it from him, placing it on the bed. 

Sirius’ hands returned to Remus’ waist, unbuckling his belt then moving to his button and zipper. Remus moved up for a second, pulling his jeans off. Sirius lifted his hips, slightly grazing Remus’, and pulled his own pants off. Remus’ eyes trailed to the tattoo peeking out of Sirius’ boxers. He thumbed the waistband and flicked his eyes up to look at Sirius. His eyelids were heavy as Remus slowly pulled the boy’s underwear down. His eyes raked over Sirius’ body, taking him in. A large Sword tattoo lay on his thigh, fully entrancing Remus. 

“Re, you alright?” Sirius leaned up and met Remus’ face, caressing his cheek.

“You’re so hot,  _ god _ .” Remus pushed forward again, a bruising kiss being placed on Sirius’ lips. Sirius hummed into it and pulled Remus’ boxers down as well. Remus’ breath hitched as he felt the air hit his skin and he quickly grabbed the condom next to him, ripping the package open.

“Have you done this before?” he panted, rolling the condom on. Sirius nodded slightly,

“Yeah.” He breathed, tracing shapes on Remus’ hip. He kissed the taller boy softly and pulled him back down. Remus hitched Sirius’ legs up around his waist and kissed the inside of his thigh.

“Tell me if anything hurts love.” 

The taller boy reached down and began to prep Sirius. The boy's head fell against the pillow, letting out a series of soft noises. 

“Sh-shit-“ He stuttered. Remus chuckled lightly as he pumped his fingers in and out. 

“Fuck, please-” Sirius cut himself off as Remus pushed himself in.

“Hol-y shit.” Remus began to pump in and out and kiss down the shorter boy’s neck, sucking on his collarbone. 

Remus smiled and sped up as Sirius wrapped his arms around the other boy’s neck, pulling him into a kiss. 

“Shit-  _ Re.” _ Remus smiled before a soft moan punched out of his throat, causing him to move faster. Sirius’ breath became unsteady and filled groans and curses. Remus wrapped his hand around Sirius’ dick, giving him light pulls as he continued to move his hips. 

“Moony, Moony, fuck- I’m gonna, fuck,  _ Moony _ -“ Sirius hit a blinding high, his vision blurring as waves of pleasure rippled through his body. Remus felt Sirius tighten around him, pushing him over the edge. 

Remus let himself collapse onto the other boy, pressing soft kisses to his lips. 

“Fuck. You’re amazing.” Remus mumbled, tracing shapes onto Sirius’ skin. 

“Mm you’re so good b’by.” Sirius slurred. Remus kissed him several more times before speaking again. 

“We need to clean up…” He said reluctantly. Sirius groaned and held Remus tighter. 

“Baby- I’ll be back in a second,” Remus whispered, pressing one last kiss to the shorter boy's lips. 

Remus walked into the bathroom and quickly returned with a towel, wiping his chest off. He leaned over Sirius, wiping off his chest and hip. Sirius looked up at him, his eyes heavy. 

“I want to be with you like this all the time.” Sirius breathed. 

“What’s stopping you.” Remus said back, his voice just above a whisper. 

“I want to protect you.” Remus furrowed his brows and gently placed his hand on the boy’s cheek. He leaned forward, lips brushing together.

“I don’t care what happens, I want to be yours.” He said softly, swiping his thumb over Sirius’ bottom lip. 

“My parents are crazy, my life is all of a sudden everyone’s business, I don’t have privacy in public anymore- Do you really want that?” Remus took a deep breath. 

“I would risk it.” Sirius pressed forward and kissed Remus gently. 

“I want this forever” Sirius mumbled, leaning his face into the other boy's neck. 

The boys decided to get ready to go to dinner with the rest of the crew, pulling on their previously discarded clothes, getting distracted here and there, almost not making it through the door at some points. But eventually they left, walking together “accidentally” bumping hands as they walked. They finally made their way to the restaurant, sitting across from each other. 

“Hey lads.” Dorcas smiled, leaning into Marlene’s shoulder. The two boys greeted the crew and looked down at their menus.

Sirius felt something hit his leg. He looked up and Remus had a mischievous grin spread across his face. Sirius smiled back and lightly kicked his leg. 

“So what did you guys do when we got to the hotel?” James asked, taking a sip of water. Remus went red before responding.

“Oh you know, just hanging out.” Sirius gently kicked him again as his eyes flitted back and forth under his sunglasses. 

“What about you Jamesy?” Sirius asked, looking down at the menu for the umpteenth time. 

“Not much, Lily kept getting sick though.” The table went quiet for a second.

“Lily- are you…?” Marlene started.

“I don’t think so- _ ohmygod _ .” She clapped a hand over her mouth as she began to laugh.

“Holy shit I think I might be-” James looked at her with wide excited eyes.

“Wait! Oh my god!” The table erupted with excitement of a potential addition to the team. 

“Okay after dinner.... Me and the girls can walk to CVS.” James was still ecstatic shaking the boy sitting next to him,  _ who happened to be Sirius _ . 

“Prongs,  _ Prongs _ , buddy I’m happy for ya but please stop shaking me.” Sirius laughed.

James reluctantly let go of his friend and attempted to calm himself down slightly. Dinner came and went, the crew was the happiest they had been the entire tour, and that’s saying a lot. 

“I can’t believe it.” Sirius said as he and Remus walked back to the hotel. 

“Well it’s not  _ official _ yet. She still needs to take a test-“ 

“Okay yeah you’re right, but still.” He responded, spinning around on the sidewalk. 

“God you’re adorable.” Remus muttered, a soft smile on his face. Sirius smiled back and pulled Remus’ wrist, walking quickly to the hotel door. 

The couple made it upstairs and into their room, Sirius bouncing down onto the bed and turning the television on. Remus walked over and settled himself next to the boy, sitting up against the headboard. 

“Hey Sirius?” Remus said in a low voice, playing with his fingers. 

“What are we?” He whispered. Sirius looked up, and saw the dread over Remus’ face. He sat up and crawled into Remus’ lap, brows furrowed at the boy's demeanor. 

“Are we more… or is this just… this.” Sirius wrapped a hand around the back of Remus’ neck and the other in his hair. He looked at him quizzically for a second before pressing a soft kiss to Remus’ lips. 

“Will you be my boyfriend Moony?” Sirius breathed against his lips. Remus’ gritted teeth cracked into a smile. He nodded, pressing forward for a kiss.

“Yes,  _ yes  _ of course baby.”

The two kissed softly for a couple more minutes before Remus’ phone rang. 

“Sorry. One second love.” 

“Hello?” Sirius watched Remus’ face slowly turn to a smile, his eyes brightening. 

“Really! I- wow… Oh my god. I’m so happy for you. Love you Lily.” He clicked his phone off and began to laugh with joy. 

“There’s gonna be a baby Potter.” 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why is half this fic just smut? idk  
> the next chapter isn't any better-

Remus opened his eyes as he felt Sirius pressing open mouthed kisses to his neck. The sun was beginning to peek through the blinds and Remus was in complete contempt. 

“Mmm morning love.” Remus mumbled, pushing a strand of hair behind Sirius’ ear. 

“Hi baby.” The boy replied, nosing his boyfriend's jaw. Remus leaned into it, trailing his fingers up and down Sirius’ back. 

“Wanna get breakfast this morning?” Remus asked, playing with a curl from Sirius’ head. 

“Mm yeah. Or maybe get some coffee.” Remus pushed himself up on his elbow and leaned over the other boy. He pressed a slow kiss to his boyfriends lips, savoring every moment. 

“Maybe me...” Sirius continued, biting Remus’ bottom lip. 

“Sirius you have a show tonight,  _ we can’t have you screaming _ .” Sirius blushed violently under him while Remus smirked and sat up. 

“Besides, I could use some caffeine.” Remus stretched as Sirius stared at his bare torso. He reached a hand out, placing it on the boy’s waist, tracing his rising sun tattoo with his thumb. 

After several moments he sat up himself, slinging his arms around Remus’ shoulders. He nosed the base of his neck and hummed. 

“I want this forever.” Remus chuckled lightly,

“You say that a lot.” 

“But it’s true.” Sirius whispered. He swallowed, waiting for Remus’ response. 

“I want this forever too.” 

“Okay,” Remus muttered, stretching his arms up, “I’m gonna get dressed, then we can go wander around and find somewhere to get coffee.” Remus said, beginning to sift through his suitcase. Sirius stared at his boyfriend, eyes raking across his torso as he stripped. Once Remus had put his jeans on Sirius pushed himself up, eyes not leaving his lover. He walked up behind him and pressed a kiss to the base of his neck. 

“Sirius… you should get dressed love.” Remus laughed lightly. 

“Mmm, but you’re so pretty… and hot… and-” Remus turned around quickly and pressed a slow, hot kiss to the boy’s lips. 

“There.” Remus said, pulling a shirt on. Sirius smiled to himself and then walked over to get his own change of clothes. 

After several more distractions, the two finally made their way out the door and down the street. Remus desperately wanted to hold Sirius’ hand as they walked down the sidewalk, but he knew he couldn’t. Remus was pulled out of his thoughts by Sirius’ soft voice. 

“Hey, how about this place?” He looked up at the sign. He was pretty sure it was in French, something about the moon. It looked classy,  _ and expensive _ , but he thought it would be worth it. 

The two walked in and looked at the menu on the back wall, analyzing the lists of coffee and tea. 

“Here baby.” Sirius whispered in Remus’ ear, “go find us a spot to sit and I’ll order for you?” Remus nodded and looked at the menu one last time. 

“Could you get me the hazelnut caramel latte please?” Remus asked. Sirius nodded happily and Remus went to sit at a small table toward the window. 

Sirius returned several minutes later with both mugs of coffee and a small plate. 

“What have you got there?” Remus chuckled lightly. 

“It’s pumpkin bread… I don’t know, it sounded good.” Sirius rambled, setting the beverages down. Remus took a small piece off of the bread, plopping it into his mouth before Sirius could protest. 

“Remuuusss-“ Sirius whined, jokingly snatching the plate away. 

“Sorry, but it is really good.” Remus said sheepishly. Sirius pushed the plate toward the center of the table, letting him take some more. 

After they finished with their breakfast they headed back to the hotel, wanting to rest a little bit before the show. Sirius kicked his boots off and dropped down onto the bed, raking his hands over his face. 

“Mmm Moony, come ‘ere.” Sirius grumbled. Remus walked over to the bed and ran a hand through the other boy’s hair before climbing onto the bed next to him. 

“Kiss me.” Sirius whispered, sitting up to meet Remus’ face. 

Remus grabbed the back of Sirius’ neck, kissing him softly then again deeper. Sirius crawled into his lap, rocking his hips down, pressing his growing erection onto Remus’. Remus chased the friction before letting his head drop against the headboard. 

“Fuck- I want…” Sirius mumbled, gripping the other boy’s hipbone. Remus laughed dryly, pressing their foreheads together. 

“I- shit, we can’t-“ The taller boy rambled. 

“I mean we can…” Sirius breathed. Remus chuckled again,

“Baby you’re not making this any easier. We have to meet everyone in an hour. Fuck-“ Sirius pressed back down again, cutting him off with a kiss. 

“Why do you have to be so goddamn hot all the time.” Remus muttered, kissing down Sirius’ jaw. 

Sirius reached for Remus’ belt when they were brought out of their bliss with a loud ringing. 

“Fucking hell-“ Sirius grumbled, 

“Hello James.” His voice was flat and borderline annoyed. Remus shifted slightly, feeling uncomfortable as Sirius talked. 

“Yeah, yeah sure. Uh huh. Yup. Bye.” Sirius hung up the phone and dropped his head into his hands. 

“I’m sorry baby. I feel bad...James legit just wanted to tell me that the openers were throwing a party tonight.”

“Do you  _ want  _ to go?” Remus asked, cocking an eyebrow. 

“Probably… do you want to?” Remus thought for a second. 

“I think it might be fun.” 

*

Remus sat backstage, scrolling mindlessly through his phone as he waited for places. He was startled when a hand wrapped around his shoulder and another gingerly on his arm. 

“Hey baby,” Sirius whispered into his ear,

“We have forty minutes until the show…” Sirius trailed off and began to walk away, shooting Remus a glance that said “follow me”.

Remus stood up quickly and stumbled to follow him. Once he caught up Sirius pulled him off into a room. 

“Hi love.” Remus whispered, pressing his forehead up to his boyfriends. Sirius didn’t say anything, he just pressed his body along Remus’. Remus gasped at the hot line pressed against his thigh. 

“Baby…” Remus whispered, kissing Sirius softly. He dropped to his knees, flicking his eyes up to Sirius’. He unzipped Sirius’ pants, the fabric moving away to reveal the bulge in his boxers. 

“Are you sure you want to, you don’t have to…” Sirius said softly, a tinge of guilt in his voice while running a hand a ran through Remus’ hair. 

“I want to- trust me.” He chuckled. 

Remus pressed an open mouth kiss to the fabric, pulling the waistband down just enough to let his cock spring free. 

“Fuck baby.” Sirius gasped, looking down at Remus. 

It was quick, almost too quick. He wished it could have lasted forever but people were going to start looking soon. Sirius shook and dropped to his knees next to Remus, kissing him hard. 

“Fuck you’re always amazing... Shit, d-do you need…?” Sirius muttered, eyes flicking up to meet his boyfriend’s brows furrowed. 

“No no, it’s fine I’ll be alright.” Remus rambled. Sirius tipped his chin up gently and looked him in the eye. 

“Baby are you sure?” Sirius asked, moving his hand over Remus’ thigh. Remus nodded and kissed him slowly. 

“Okay let’s go, we got a crowd to woo.” Remus smiled, pulling Sirius by the hand and out of the room. 

Remus snuck one last kiss in before rounding the corner, back into reality. As he pressed his lips against the other boy’s he heard a surprised gasp. Remus pulled away quickly and turned his head to see James with a Redbull in hand, about to drop it. 

“I’m sorry, WHAT THE FUCK?” Remus rushed over and grabbed James by the sleeve, pulling him behind the wall. 

“Will you shut the fuck up?” Remus whispered, letting go of his friend's sleeve. 

“Wait- wait so- you two?” James said, fully in awe. 

“Yes dipshit- now will you shut up? No one else knows.” Sirius said urgently, fear running through his body.    
“Oh my god- my best friends are in love- Holy shit!” James said excitedly. 

“Yes… now please… I trust you James. Please don’t tell anyone.” Sirius responded, trying to calm himself. 

“Okay, okay. I love you guys.” James called, running back into the main space. Remus let out a sigh of relief, linking his pinky with the other mans. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> begins as pure smut and then you get thrown into angst- enjoy
> 
> TWs- forced outing, homophobia, slurs, panic attacks

Remus and Sirius stood in the living room, surrounded by other people, all talking and drinking. 

“Maybe we should get dessert later-” Sirius offered, soon being cut off by James, Marlene, and an unknown girl entering the circle. 

“Hey Pads, this is Macey. She’s in The Death Eaters.” James spoke, gesturing towards the blonde. 

“Oh hi! Your set was really good dude.” Sirius smiled, extending his hand. She shook his hand, letting her fingers linger for a second. Remus eyed her quickly, jealousy sparking in his gut. He didn’t want to be overly possessive,  _ it was just a handshake, it was fine. _

“We’re going to Portland tomorrow right?” James asked, looking down at his phone.

“Yes, Portland Maine, not Oregon.” Sirius replied, watching James’ face drop slightly to an annoyed look. 

“I’m not that fucking stupid Sirius.” Sirius laughed,

“Are you sure?” he joked, a stupid smirk on his face. Macey laughed obnoxiously, pushing his shoulder lightly and letting her hand linger again. The girl now fully turned to Sirius, ignoring everyone else in the group. Remus watched as she got close to his ear, whispering something. Remus felt his face heat up as he tried to look away. 

“Do you have a girlfriend?” she asked, pushing a piece of hair behind the boy’s ear. 

“Uh no… I uh-” He cut himself off, flicking his eyes briefly to Remus. Macey pushed her hand onto Sirius' chest, once again whispering in his ear. 

Remus rushed forward, not wanting to, but his legs moving without thought. 

“Hey Sirius- Minnie wants us back at the hotel. She said she needs to talk to you.” Remus said, shooting the girl a glance. 

“Oh, okay.” Sirius said, 

“Nice meeting you Macey.” Remus grabbed Sirius’ shoulder and pushed him toward the door, trying to get him out of the house as fast as possible. 

Once the two were on the street Sirius began to speak.

“Do you know what Minnie needs?” Sirius asked timidly. Remus just grabbed his hand and began to walk faster toward the hotel. 

“Re-” Remus turned around and pressed a hard kiss on Sirius’ lips. His body was tense and warm. 

Remus tugged Sirius along again, pulling him into the hotel and across the room to the elevator. Once the doors closed Remus attacked Sirius’ neck, biting and sucking at the skin 

“ _ Fuck Moons _ \- what…?” Sirius rambled, threading his hand through the boy’s hair. The door dinged and began to slide open. 

“Room.  _ Now. _ ” Remus growled. Sirius followed him, close at his heels, brain still fuzzed with confusion. Once the door had closed Remus returned to his boyfriend’s neck, sucking a mark.

“ _ Baby- _ ” Sirius moaned as Remus slid his knee between his legs, pressing up on his growing erection. 

“I thought that Minnie needed to-” Sirius began. He was soon cut off by a deep kiss. 

“I lied. She doesn’t need to talk to you. I just- that girl was touching you and- and -” He kissed him again, Sirius moaned into it, rocking his hips against Remus’. 

Remus put his hands under Sirius’ legs, picking him up. He walked across the room dropping the shorter boy onto the bed. 

Remus took him in, his lips swollen, dark bruises forming on his neck and collar bone. 

“Fuck, fuck- you’re mine.” Remus muttered, continuing to suck marks. 

“Sh-shit, I’m yours love.” Sirius choked out.

“How could you let her flirt with you like that.” The taller boy murmured. 

“I didn’t even realize-” Sirius broke off into a moan as Remus rocked his hips, “I- shit- I was too busy thinking about you.  _ Fuck-  _ thinking about earlier, thinking about how  _ fucking hot _ you are.” the shorter boy stuttered, pushing his hips up to chase friction. 

“I hate it when I see girls flirt with you, touching you… whispering in your ear...“ Remus punctuated every few words with a hot kiss. 

“I’m yours baby- fuck  _ fuck _ , I’m yours.” Sirius responded, a smile dancing on his lips. He pushed his hands under the other boy’s shirt and pulled down closer to him. 

“Remus- fuck,  _ please _ .” He mumbled. 

Remus reached a hand down between them as they kissed, pushing his hand below Sirius’ jeans, cupping him through his boxers. 

“Fuck-“ he choked out, biting down onto Remus’ neck. Remus sat up quickly, pulling his shirt over his head before undoing his belt. 

A walked on his knees over to lean up against the headboard, sliding his jeans off and leaving him in just his boxers. Sirius was quick to follow, removing his own clothes and climbing into his boyfriend's lap. 

“Fuck, did you- did you buy more condoms?” Remus panted, raising his hips to meet Sirius’.

“I have one d-don’t worry.” He climbed off Remus' lap, unzipping a pocket in his bag. Remus kept his eyes on the other boy, palming his dick through his underwear. Sirius came back, dropping a condom and small bottle of lube onto the comforter. 

Sirius climbed back into Remus’ lap, letting his fingers dance under his waistband. 

“Fuck Sirius. Off- take these off.” He babbled, pulling on the elastic. Remus slowed for a second, looking Sirius in the eyes, 

“Still good?” He asked timidly, moving his hands up on the boy's waist. 

“Fuck yes. Still good love.” Sirius blurted, swiftly pushing his boxers off. Remus leaned in close to his ear, tugging on his earlobe before speaking softly,

“Do you wanna ride me baby?” He pulled back to see Sirius’ face. He was bright red, his eyes wide and dilated. He nodded slowly, unable to speak. 

“You have to tell me,” Remus said in a low hum, sending heat dripping down the other boy’s spine. 

“Yes…” he croaked, moving his hips in little circles. 

“Yes what honey?” Sirius’ breath hitched,

“I want to ride you Moons.” Remus captured the shorter boy’s lips in his, licking into his mouth. The kiss was needy, like they hadn’t kissed in days. Sirius melted into it, rutting his hips against the taller boy. Remus lifted his hips up to push his underwear off, gasping as his hard cock rubbed against Sirius’. 

“ _ Moonsmoonsmoons, _ ” Sirius moaned, 

“Fuck- please.” Remus took the condom next to him and rolled it on, watching Sirius’ lust filled eyes as he did so. Once on, he took the small bottle of lube and squirted some on his fingers, slicking them up. He reached back and pushed one into Sirius, inhaling the moan he let out. 

Sirius pushed his hips down immediately, letting his head fall back as Remus curled his finger. He pumped it in and out several more times before adding another finger, scissoring them back and forth. 

“ _ Remus- _ ” He gasped, holding onto the boy’s shoulders, nails digging into the skin. With a jolt of confidence, Remus pulled his fingers out and pushed his dick in, head falling back at the tight heat. After several moments of holding each other, Remus began to move his hips up and down. Sirius let out a loud groan, pushing his face into the other boy’s neck. 

“Does that feel good love?” Remus cooed, smoothing his hand over Sirius’ waist. 

“Mm… yes,  _ yes _ .” Sirius babbled, beginning to suck on the tender skin of his boyfriend’s neck. 

The two became lost in each other, they could only hear each other, only  _ feel _ each other. Remus took hold of Sirius’ exposed dick, giving it several light pulls. Sirius moaned loudly, slamming his hips up and down in time with Remus’. 

“Remus- fuck, baby.  _ Fuck _ \- I’m gonna-” Remus continued to fuck up into him, hitting a spot that made Sirius cry out. Remus fixed his angle, hitting that spot with every thrust. Sirius let his head fall back but Remus grabbed his chin bringing his face back down.

“I want to see you...”

Sirius stopped moving his hips, grinding down as he came. He let out a soft moan of Remus' name, causing the boy in front of him to hit his own blinding high. 

“Sirius-“ he gasped, eyes screwing shut as waves of pleasure knocked through him. 

The two collapsed into each other, pressing sloppy open mouthed kisses to the other boy’s mouth. 

“Maybe I need to let girls flirt with me more often… god baby.” Sirius panted. Remus captured Sirius’ lips in a hot kiss. 

“Don’t even think about it.” The taller boy chuckled. 

“But if you’re gonna fuck me like that…” 

“I’d fuck you like that any day love.” Remus responded, kissing Sirius’ cheek. Sirius buried his face in the other boy’s shoulder, trying to hide his flushed cheeks. 

“Okay baby, I need to clean up.” the taller boy spoke, scrunching his face as he picked Sirius up off of his now soft dick. Sirius rolled onto his back, throwing his hands over his eyes. 

“Here we are, Pads.” Remus began to wipe Sirius’ chest with the damp washcloths, then wiping it over his oversensitive cock. 

After he was clean, Remus climbed onto the bed, pulling the covers over him and his boyfriend. Sirius nosed the column of the other boy's neck, pressing a soft kiss there. 

“You’re gonna be the death of me Remus.”




  
  


Remus in the back corner of the bus, brain wracked with anxiety. Sirius walked down the aisle, coming to sit next to his boyfriend. 

“Love… are you okay?” He spoke softly, trying to catch Remus’ gaze. Several days had passed since their pure bliss and Remus slowly began to fall apart. 

“The next show is in my hometown. I’m gonna have to see him- I lied when everything happened. They don’t know he did it. God I’m such a dumbass-“ Sirius laid a hand on top of Remus’, feeling it shake under his palm. 

“You’re okay, I’ll be here. I’ll help you, baby.” Sirius said, quickly kissing Remus’ hand before moving to sit across from him.

Remus stared out the window while the bus began to move. He closed his eyes, trying to blink away tears. He had to see him,  _ the guy who fucked him up.  _ He was going to try and be happy, for his parents, for his family, he was going to do it if it killed him. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket and moved to grab it, noticing how badly his hands were shaking. He let out a sigh of relief as he saw it was only his mother. 

_ Remus! Can't wait to see you hun. Hope you don’t mind, we’re inviting the Greyback’s and Evans’ over for dinner. Love you <3 _

Remus blinked at his phone for a second. He couldn’t wait to see his parents but he was still filled with absolute dread. 

The bus ride felt like forever but also not long enough. He couldn’t focus on anything, just staring out the window. He squeezed his hands together, nails digging into the skin. Remus glanced across from him to see Sirius asleep in his chair. He needed Sirius at that moment like he needed air. He needed him to tell him it was going to be okay, tell him he wasn’t going insane. 

They finally made it to the hotel, Remus quickly running up to his room. Sirius watched him as he kept walking down the hall from Sirius’ room. 

“Remus?” He asked, worry and confusion on his face. 

“Sorry I- I think I’m gonna have a panic attack- I doubt you want to see me like that, I’ll- I’ll, I-“ Sirius pulled Remus inside of his hotel room and took his bag, setting it on the ground. 

“Remus, look at me.” Sirius whispered, grabbing Remus’ hands. The boy looked up, tears pooling in his eyes. 

“You’re okay. It’s gonna be okay. Do you want me to come with you tonight?” Sirius offered, pushing their foreheads together as he thumbed tears on the other boy's cheek. 

“No- I’m afraid it’s gonna make it worse. What if he outs me, Pads? What if- what… I-“ Remus began to hyperventilate, squeezing Sirius’ hand. 

“Okay love, okay. I’ll be here when you get back though, remember that.” Remus let out a sob that made Sirius’ heart clench. 

“I’m sorry- I’m sorry-“ he cried, beginning to fold in on himself. 

Sirius held the boy up, rubbing his back as his breath heaved. Tears threatened his own eyes as he heard his boyfriend cry. 

“Remus, baby, you’re okay. You’re safe.” Sirius muttered, wrapping his arms tighter around the other boy. 

After half an hour of Remus being held, he had finally calmed down enough. 

“I have to go soon.” He whispered, refusing to look up. 

“That’s okay. Please text me if you need anything.” Sirius responded, kissing his cheek. Remus nodded, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

“Fuck, they’re here. I’ll see you later.” He uttered, kissing Sirius softly. 

“Goodbye love.” 

Remus made his way downstairs, smiling when he saw his parents car sitting in the parking lot. It had been too long since he had seen them last. 

“Remus! I missed you my wolf.” Hope called, catching her boy in a hug. 

“I miss you too mom, it’s good to see you.” 

“Your father is in the car, he refused to get out because he’s ‘too cold’.” The older woman laughed, resting her hand on her son's shoulder. The two climbed into the car, Remus smiling as he saw his father's eyes in the mirror. 

“Hi Remus.” He said sweetly, handing him a piece of chocolate. 

“Hello dad, thank you.” He chuckled, unwrapping the sweet. 

The ride back to the Lupin household was full of laughter but he could feel the dread building as they got closer, knowing he would have to face his fears. They walked into the house and the two families stood in the living room, welcoming him in. Remus laughed softly as Lily’s younger brother ran towards him, jumping to give him a hug. 

“Hey Nickolas!” Remus looked up at his parents giving them a smile. 

“Oh, Lily’s here, dear go let her in please.” Hope spoke, motioning for Lyall to get the door. 

Remus picked up the nine year old and spun him around, 

“Are you ready to see your big sister?” Nickolas nodded and let himself drop down, running to go hug the redhead in the doorway. Remus stood there smiling at the two for a second before he felt a tap on his shoulder.

“Remus, surprised you showed up.” Fenrir spoke, his voice sharp and low. 

“Fenrir.” Remus responded, turning to look at the man. He was slightly taller, hair falling in his blue eyes. Remus moved away, going to Lily at the door. 

The group slowly moved into the living room, Hope and Lyall going to the kitchen to set the food out. 

“Are you gonna tell them Lils?” Remus whispered. 

“I don’t know it seems a bit early, I’m only about six weeks. But we’ll see what happens.” She chuckled, walking the two of them over to the dinner table. As the families began to eat the questions Remus dreaded began. 

“So Remus,” Lily’s mother started, 

“Are you seeing anyone right now?” Remus looked at the table for a second,

“I uh-” he chuckled.

“Does Remus have a girlfriend?” Nickolas chimed in.

“Or a boyfriend?” Fenrir said loudly, stabbing his fork into his salad. 

Remus shot his eyes up, fear dancing in his vision. He stood up abruptly, 

“Re, what is he talking about?” Hope asked quizzically,

“I have to use the restroom.” 

Remus ran into the bathroom locking it and sliding down against the door, pulling his phone out. 

_ I can’t do this. Sirius I can’t do it.  _

_ Baby what's going on? _

Remus began to type out an explanation when there was a sharp knock at the door. He stood up and opened it, revealing a smirking Fenrir. He glanced down at Remus’ messages, grabbing his wrist to read them better,

“I’m sorry, did I embarrass you in front of your family? Fucking faggot.” Remus felt anger begin to run through his veins. 

“Fuck off. Just stop. Okay? You’re no different then I am. Don’t try to say you aren’t. Why do you have to act like such a child?” Remus felt tears threaten his eyes. 

“Do you want to take another fall, Remus?” Fenrir sneered, taking grip of his shirt collar. Remus’ stomach dropped and he tried to pry out of his grip, rushing past the boy. 

“Hi I had a wonderful time but I need to go. I am so sorry.” Remus blurted in agitation, turning toward the door. 

“Remus? What is wrong?” Hope called with an annoyed tone. 

“He just doesn’t want to admit to you that he’s gay.” Fenrir responded. Remus stopped in front of the door, shooting a glance back at his parents shocked faces. 

“Fenrir, what the hell is wrong with you?!” He heard Lily yelled

“I thought that Hope and Lyall would appreciate the fact that Remus was gay. And dating a man named Sirius apparently.” Lily began to screech at the man while Remus ran out the door.

He stood on the corner, pulling his hands in his hair, pacing back and forth. 

“Remus!” Lily called, running to meet her friend. 

“Lily- Lily I don’t-” Remus’ voice broke. 

“Hey, you’re okay, you're okay.”

“Are they mad?” Remus whispered, eyes on the pavement. 

“I left right after you did, I’m sorry I don’t know hun.” Remus looked up at his friend, tears falling down his now blotchy cheeks. 

“I want- I want to see Sirius- I want to go back to the hotel.” Remus heaved. Lily paused for a second thinking of her next move,

“Okay, I’m going to borrow my parents car and I’ll take you back to the hotel.” 

“Lily I can just call and uber it's fine-” Remus sniffled,

“No. Come on.” Lily pulled him to her parents driveway before going back to the Lupins. She left the door open making him able to hear the commotion from inside. 

_ “Mom I need to borrow the keys.”  _

_ “Hope why are you yelling at my son?”  _

_ “Is your skull really that thick?” _

Lily emerged through the door and unlocked the car quickly getting inside.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tws - smut, panic, forced coming out,

Remus quietly sobbed the entire way back to the hotel, his eyes tired and his throat sore. Lily tried to calm the anxiety wracked boy down but it was no use.They pulled into the parking lot and sat there for a second, Remus trying to stop crying. 

“I’m sorry Lily, I’m a fucking mess.” Remus let out a wet laugh, wiping his eyes. 

“It’s okay, let's get you inside.”

Remus entered the elevator quickly, trying to take deep breaths but they were just coming out shallow and quickened. Once the doors opened he walked to Sirius’ door knocking quietly. 

“Hey-” Sirius looked at Remus’ bloodshot eyes and quivering lip,

“Baby… come ‘ere.” Sirius wrapped his arms tightly around him, kissing his forehead as they moved toward the bed. 

“What happened?” Sirius questioned.

“I can’t- I can’t I- He said he’s gonna hurt me again Sirius-” His breath heaved.

“He’s not going-“

“He threatened to he- he-“ He tried to push himself away but Sirius held him even closer. He felt his breath quicken again, unable to form words. 

“Hey,  _ hey. _ I’ve got you. You’re  _ safe _ Remus. Breathe love,  _ breathe _ .” Remus collapsed into him, loud sobs ringing through the room. 

Twenty minutes later, Remus finally spoke, 

“He outed me. To everyone.” He whispered, gripping onto the boy’s sweatshirt. 

“I’m so sorry Moony.” Sirius said back, stroking Remus’ hair. 

“We’re fucking adults- why does he act like- like a fucking child?” Sirius rubbed the back of the boy's neck, cooing softly. Remus could feel himself begin to calm slightly, but tensed back up when Sirius spoke again. 

“Did you even get to eat dinner?” 

“No…” Remus responded timidly, waiting for Sirius to blow up on him, but he remained just as calm as before. 

“Okay. What are you in the mood for? Chicken and fries? Pasta? … chocolate cake?” Remus’ ears perked up at the mention of chocolate, making Sirius laugh. 

“Okay, chocolate cake it is. But will you eat a bit of protein for me, love?” Remus nodded happily, snuggling back down into Sirius’ chest. 

“Hello can we get room service up to 317?” Sirius spoke softly into the phone. 

“Yes, can we get a slice of chocolate cake and two of those personal pizza things? Okay thanks so m’ch.” he hung up the phone and returned his attention to Remus. 

“Okay baby, it’ll be a couple but is there anything else you need?” Sirius asked, setting a hand on the boy’s cheek. 

“I mean there's one thing I can think of…” Remus pushed forward slightly, pressing a soft kiss to Sirius’ lips before settling himself in the boy’s lap. 

“I see… well how about we eat…” he paused, kissing him softly again, “and then I will… kiss you until… you feel better.” Sirius punctuated every few words with a hot kiss to Remus’ lips, making the other boy melt into him. 

Remus leaned his head against Sirius’ taking several deep breaths before speaking. 

“Thank you, Pads.” He whispered. 

“For what?” Sirius chuckled, running a hand through Remus’ curls. 

“Just staying with me. Dealing with my problems, dealing with  _ me _ .” Sirius scoffed, tipping Remus’ chin up to look him in the eyes. 

“Remus, of course I would do those things- I love- I love being around you, being with you.” Remus smiled,

“I want this forever.” He responded, pressing another kiss to the boy's lips. 

Remus suddenly jumped when there was a sharp knock on the door. 

“Hey it’s alright, just food.” Sirius muttered. Going to open the door. Remus dropped his head in his hands and took a few calming breaths. 

“Sorry I- I don’t know I’m just jumpy… after today.” 

“Hey it’s okay. And look- chocolate cake.” Sirius smiled and held out the boxes of food, setting them on the bed. Remus laughed, pulling Sirius back down on the bed next to him. 

“Thank you baby.” He whispered, opening the styrofoam box. 

  
  


They ate as a movie played in the background, occasionally stealing glances and brushing skin. They were alone, they knew they were allowed to touch, but it was resistance. They knew that they were going to fall together and never pull apart. The two sat there for several seconds after eating before Remus pounced on him. 

Remus began kissing down the boy's neck before Sirius stopped him.

“Hey, I’m making  _ you _ feel better, just tell me what you’d like.” Sirius whispered, biting Remus' earlobe. 

“ _ Fuck _ \- do you want to take a shower together?” Sirius lowered his voice before speaking, making Remus’ mind reel as he breathed on his neck. 

“We can fuck and then I’ll wash your hair for you… maybe fuck again?” Remus felt light headed as the other boy began to suck on his neck. Remus began to push at the fabric covering Sirius’ torso, whining slightly.

“Why the fuck are you still wearing clothes, oh my god.” Sirius chuckled, pulling his shirt off before the hands returned to his torso. 

“Here come on let's go to the bathroom, eh?” Sirius said, attempting to pull away. Before he could, Remus slid off the bed, now holding Sirius up, chest to chest, and wrapped his hands around his thighs. 

Remus kissed him hard, walking the two of through the doorway. Once Remus felt the cool tile beneath his feet, he let the boy down and began to take off his own clothes. Sirius walked over and started the shower before returning back to his boyfriend, running his hands over his now bare waist. 

“Sirius- I-  _ fuck. _ ” He rutted his hips against Sirius’. 

“Hold on baby.” Sirius said, pulling jeans down quickly. He grabbed Remus’ hand and pulled him toward the shower, 

The only sounds were of them coming up for breath and the crash of the water hitting the shower floor. Sirius gasped as he felt a hot line press against his thigh. He reached down and thumbed Remus’ hip for a second before Remus took Sirius’ hands and pushed them down to his cock. Sirius quickly turned them, stepping into the shower first. 

Remus followed and pressed himself into Sirius’ chest. Sirius took this opportunity to begin to kiss down Remus’ neck, sucking on his pulse point to create a mark. 

“Fuck Pads-“ Remus panted, slotting their legs together. Sirius breathed hard into Remus’ skin, biting lightly. Sirius gave Remus a couple more pulls. Remus let out a soft moan and moved his hand down too, grabbing Sirius’ cock. 

“Shit-“ Sirius gasped. He tucked his head into the crook of Remus’ neck, letting out a broken sigh when Remus tightened his grip around him. Sirius bit down gently, making Remus’ hips snap up. Sirius moved his hand faster, giving Remus tighter quicker pulls. Sirius took his hand and swiped his thumb over the head, a sensation of pleasure shivering throughout Remus.

“Do that and I’m not gonna last much longer.” Remus murmured, snaking his free hand around to grab Sirius’ ass. 

  
  


Sirius connected his mouth with Remus’ into a sloppy kiss, moving his hand again to swipe his thumb over the head.

“Fuck Pads, I’m gonna-” Sirius repeated the action and Remus hit a blinding high, coming between them. Sirius watched as his head fell back, his eyes closed, brows furrowed, and mouth slightly parted. Remus’ hand was tight around him, still moving slightly. With this combination, a blinding white clouded his vision. 

“Shit shit shit-  _ Remus _ .” Sirius gasped. The two boys fell together, a loose embrace and sloppy kisses. They stayed silent, except for soft sounds they were making. 

“I want this forever, I- I want you forever,  _ my god _ .” Remus rambled. Sirius let out a soft laugh, running a hand through Remus’ wet hair. 

“You’re perfect.” Sirius whispered, soft eyes meeting Remus’. 

“I’m not-“ Remus started, before he was cut off by a gentle kiss. 

“You’re perfect to me.”

______________________

  
  
  


Before everyone had realized it, a month had passed, ten shows down. The summer was fleeting quickly, as August turned to September. It had been almost a week since Remus’ run in with Fenrir and he still couldn’t process his emotions. His parents hadn’t texted him about it yet, and he was afraid they never would. 

Sirius flopped down on the bed next to Remus, pulling his hoodie over his head. He scrolled aimlessly through his phone when he felt Remus nuzzle more into his side. 

“Hi love.” He giggled, turning his full attention to Remus. 

“Mm hi. Do you know where the next show is?” 

“Baltimore.” Sirius said, pausing for a second before continuing,

“I’m still really sorry about Detroit.” Remus just shook his head. 

“Sirius it’s okay. Really. I can’t control what other people do. You couldn’t have done anything anyways.” 

“I could have come with you. I could have come gotten you I-“ Remus put his hand on the boys cheek. 

“It’s okay love. I promise.”

Remus finally began to relax, exhaustion from the show getting the best of him. As he laid there, he felt Sirius’ phone begin to buzz. Sirius let out a sigh and rolled over to look at it, his face dropping slightly. 

“Mm Sirius? You good?” Remus asked, brows furrowed in worry. 

“I fucking hate this woman.” Sirius grumbled. Remus pushed himself up on his elbows, face still twisted in confusion, especially in his exhausted state. 

“My mom is texting me again. She’s probably just drunk again but she’s- giving me shit for  _ not talking to my brother _ . He’s one of the snakes, why  _ would  _ I talk to him?” Sirius sighed, silencing his phone before putting it on the nightstand. 

“I’m so sorry baby.” Remus murmured, holding his boyfriend tight. 

“It’s okay. We should get to sleep, bus in the morning.” Remus kissed the top of his head and they both drifted into sleep. 

*

Sirius leaned down, pressing a passionate kiss to Remus’ lips as he began to wake up.

“Good morning Remus.” He muttered against the boy’s lips. 

“Mm a good morning indeed.” Remus replied, flipping them over. They kissed quietly for a while, just enjoying each other’s company. 

“We should probably get ready.” Sirius whispered. Remus groaned, rolling off of the other boy. They began to dress, putting their other stuff back into the suitcases, occasionally getting off track. They reluctantly made their way downstairs, wishing to have more time to themselves, but knowing they couldn’t. 

“Hey guys, get your asses on the bus!” James called out the window, his head poking out of the glass. 

“That's what we’re doing Jamie!” Sirius laughed back, jokingly flipping his friend off. 

Remus settled himself on one of the seats, trying to get himself as comfortable as possible. Sirius walked down the aisle, sitting himself right next to Remus on the seat. 

“Hi.” Remus smiled, popping a headphone in. Sirius didn’t respond, he just leaned against him, starting a movie on his phone. Remus blushed deeply, trying to play it cool. He made eye contact with Lily as she sat on the bench across from the boys. Lily gave him a gentle smile and went along with her business. 

Remus let himself drift off as the bus began to move, absentmindedly wrapping his arms around the boy, pulling him between his legs. 

*

Remus awoke as the bus came to a screeching halt, jumping slightly in his seat. Just then he remembered the warm weight pressed against his chest. Sirius turned his head, taking an earbud out. 

“You alright Moons?” Sirius asked, concern on his face. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Remus reassured, rubbing his tired eyes. 

“We're almost to the hotel, just a traffic jam right now.” Lily said, bringing her gaze up to the boys. Marlene mumbled sleepily into Dorcas’ side before letting out a soft snort.

“Ah look at those lovebirds.” Dorcas stifled a laugh and jokingly hit her girlfriend on the arm. 

“Marls were not ‘lovebirds’.” Sirius grumbled, “Were just friends. Guys are allowed to be close.” 

A pang of jealousy rang through Remus as he heard those words. They weren’t just _friends._ They were _‘lovebirds’._ _Remus was in love._

“Okay, okay. You’re just friends.” Marlene giggled. Dorcas just kissed the top of her head and then her own loll back against the seat. Remus looked out the window at the city as they drove in. He was ready to just get back into the swing of things, forget about his family.  _ He had a new family here.  _

The group eventually made it to the hotel, being quite pleased that there was almost no paparazzi outside.  _ They were sick and tired of these people following them.  _ Remus and Sirius made their way up the floors to their hotel room, Remus letting himself settle down into the mattress. 

“Mm Pads come cuddle.” He groaned. Sirius laughed, throwing his bag on the ground and crawling in next to him. 

“So- there's a party tomorrow if you want to go.” Sirius said, nuzzling his face into his boyfriend's neck. 

“Only if I can be more than your ‘friend’” Remus muttered, pouting slightly. 

“I’m sorry about that Re, I’m just not super ready to tell people yet.” Sirius confessed.

“It’s totally okay. We can ‘ _ just be friends’  _ if you let me fuck you when we get back.” Remus whispered, drawing lazy circles on Sirius’ lower back.

“Sounds good to me.” 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tws - forced outing, smut, alcohal, being drunk

“Lunch, lunch, lunchlunchlunch.” Sirius mumbled, throwing an arm around Remus as they walked down the street. Just then Remus watched Sirius' face drop slightly. 

“Pads what-“ before he could continue a group of people circled around them and started to yell. 

“ _ Sirius- Is this your boyfriend?”  _

_ “Are you gay?”  _

_ Tell us tell us  _ **_tell us-_ **

“Fuck off!” He yelled, starling the boy next to him. He flipped all of them off and entered into the closest store. 

“Fucking hell. I’m so sorry about that.” 

“It’s okay, don't worry about it” he said quickly, fidgeting with his hands. 

“Are you sure? Because I can tell it’s not.” Sirius whispered, taking a peak out of the window, silently praying for the snakes to go away. 

“Do you uh, know those people?” Remus immediately regretted the question but it was too late. 

“Yeah… My family is actually big involved in it. I hate it but it is what it is.” He said, still shifting occasionally to look outside. 

“I’m so-“ Remus was quickly cut off,

“Okay- they’re gone, let’s go Moons.” 

*

Remus sat on the bus as he got a text message from Sirius. 

_ Look at this bullshit lmao- _

Below was attached a picture of a tabloid website, with the headline reading, “Another Queer musician?

Sirius Black caught with his arm around an unknown man.” 

Another message followed soon after. 

_ Looks like my mom already saw, says I “need to stop being a fag” like mom, sorry I get more dick than you.  _

Remus stifled a laugh, quickly responding,

_ Reporters are just jealous that we’re the best couple.  _

*

Remus looked around as the group walked into the party. Music was blaring in the background but it was almost undersernable. 

“Dorcas- want a drink?” Marlene asked, spinning to face the girl. The latter nodded, giving her girlfriend a quick kiss. 

“Wait Marlene, I’ll come with you. Sirius- beer?” Remus rambled. Sirius nodded and the two went off together to find the beverages. 

“Sooo Re…” Marlene started, 

“Are you and Sirius a thing?” Remus scoffed as they approached the cooler. 

“Marlene that is none of your-“ 

“You’re not denying it.” She said triumphantly. Remus sighed and shook his head. 

“Even if we were, I-“ he stopped, grabbing two beers. 

“I just can’t tell you, sorry Marley.” Marlene nodded, patting the man's shoulder. 

The two made it back to their friends, handing them the aforementioned alcohol. 

“Thank you Moony- I’m fully ready to get wasted tonight.” Sirius said, taking a swig of his beer. The four happily swayed along with the music, downing their drinks before getting another, and another, and  _ another _ . Soon enough they were more than tipsy, in a happy drunken haze. Sirius grabbed Remus’ hand, pulling him through the house until they found a semi private hallway. 

“Mm kiss me Moons.” Sirius hiccuped. Remus began to kiss him lazily, pressing their bodies against the wall. They soon forgot about the party around them, _ the people who could see _ . This continued for several moments before the obvious dawned on them. 

“Waitwaitwait” Remus panted, hand going to his hair as he stepped back. 

“We- we should stop.” He mumbled as Sirius fell into him. 

“Let's- just get an Uber-” He continued as Sirius pulled his phone out. Remus, the slightly more sober of the two, offered to do it instead. Remus had a horrible inkling that Sirius’ fears would soon become reality, but he couldn’t dwell on it.

In the Uber Sirius slumped his body against Remus, head falling on his shoulder. 

“No, Pads, you gotta stay awake for a couple more minutes.” He whispered, nudging the boy. Sirius hummed, head lolling to the side. The Uber stopped outside of the hotel, Remus thanked the man and pulled Sirius out, supporting him as they walked. 

“Re- I think I’m gonna vomit.” Sirius muttered, leaning over to throw up in the bushes. Remus brought him upstairs, the two falling on the bed and falling asleep within seconds. They slept soundly for a few hours, before Remus woke up, getting out of bed to brush his teeth and change his clothes. 

“Reemuuss?” Sirius grumbled sleepily. 

“Hold on love, just brushing my teeth.” Remus heard faint rustling from the other room as Sirius padded into the bathroom. 

“My head hurts like a bitch.” The shorter boy murmured, digging in his toiletry bag before pulling out a box of aspirin. 

“I’m sorry baby,” Remus chuckled, “but you did drink like seven beers…” Sirius groaned, taking the aspirin before burying his face in his boyfriend's neck. 

“You’re right but still.” Sirius mumbled, 

“Ugh why did I think that was a good idea?” The two stayed close for a second before they heard ringing from the other room.

“ _ What the fuck _ ?” Sirius muttered as he walked out of the room. Remus stayed, holding his breath as Sirius began to talk. 

“Mom it’s two in the fucking morning- No, no I haven’t checked Twitter. What are you on about? W-what-?” Remus’ heart sank as Sirius’ gaze traveled from the floor to meet his. 

“They- they what? No- NO! Shut up! I-” Sirius hung up, eyes darting around the room. He sunk to his knees and let out a choked sob. 

“Sirius-” Remus breathed, rushing over to kneel beside his boyfriend. 

“They-the-” Sirius’ breath heaved loudly as he curled in on himself. 

“Hey,  _ hey _ , breathe Sirius.” Remus said, his voice shaking. 

“I fucked up. I fucked up so bad. They- They saw us. I’m such a fucking d-dumbass.” He cried, pulling on his hair. Remus took Sirius’ hands in his, his mind racing. 

“Sirius, baby, please-” Remus whispered.  _ He had fucked up. This was his fault. He should have just stopped them sooner.  _

“ _ Ican’tIcan’tI- _ ” Remus’ heart broke as he heard Sirius’ sobs. He bent forward, dropping the boy's hands to hold his face. Sirius tried to shake out of his grip, cowering into the corner of the hotel room. Remus slowly inched toward him, 

“Sirius, please. I’m not going to hurt you-“ Remus kneeled in front of him, taking his hands in his. 

“I’ve got you. You’re okay.”

There they sat, Sirius attempting to calm himself while he babbled. 

“I don’t- I don’t deserve you. I’m a mess. My life is a mess. Remus w-why do you even stay?” Sirius rambled, knees pulled up to his chest. 

“Because I love you.” Remus said quietly, staring at the floor. 

“I love you- I love you Sirius-“ Remus babbled. Sirius jumped on him. He kissed him hard before mumbling into his mouth. 

“I love you too. I love you-  _ IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou _ .” Sirius pulled them up off the ground as they began to kiss each other. 

Sirius began pushing the two of them back, letting the back of Remus’ knees hit the bed. Remus broke the kiss slightly, 

“Baby-” Sirius kissed him again, licking into his mouth. Remus let a soft moan out and he began to rake his fingers across his back. 

“Are you sure you want to-” Sirius kissed him again, pushing him back onto the bed. 

“If that's okay.” he whispered, crawling on top of him. Remus nodded, wrapping his hands around the back of his boyfriend's neck. 

“I wanna make you feel good Pads- take away the pain…but only if that's what you want.” Remus whispered, running his hands across the length of Sirius’ body. Sirius looked at him and licked his lips, eyes full of lust. 

“I love you. I want you to make me feel good.” Sirius muttered against Remus’ lips as he pulled him in for another kiss. Remus began to kiss down his neck, sucking at the skin. Sirius let out a choked moan and rolled his hips down against his boyfriends. Remus hummed and moved his hand down, cupping Sirius through his pants. Sirius huffed as he ground down into Remus’ hand, a soft moan leaving his mouth. 

Remus smiled and bit at the boy's skin, undoing Sirius’ zipper. Sirius moaned as Remus’ fingers danced over his clothed cock. 

“Re-“ he gasped, letting out more quiet sounds. Remus flipped the two of them over, placing his knees on each side of his boyfriend's hips. Remus leaned down, kissing the side of his face before whispering in his ear,

“How do you want me?” Sirius’ face flushed farther, struggling to not just get off right there. 

“Baby- I need- I want- fuck me?” Sirius babbled, already extremely turned on. Remus smirked, biting Sirius’ bottom lip before rolling off to grab the needed things. 

Sirius pulled his boxers down, grabbing himself and letting out a loud moan at the feeling. Remus came back, now fully nude and holding a condom and bottle of lube. 

“Baby…” Remus said, voice full of lust. He climbed back on him, running his fingers over Sirius’ cock before paying attention to his own, rolling the condom on. 

“I love you Remus-“ Sirius gasped, swiping his thumb over the head. Remus smiled, lubing his fingers up. He hitched the boys legs up around his waist, pressing kisses along the inside of his thighs. Remus pushed a finger into Sirius' ass. Sirius let out a moan as he did so, then another as Remus began to suck hickeys Sirius’ legs. 

“ _ Ah- _ Re-m’s, baby-  _ ah”  _ Remus looked up as he sucked on the skin, pumping his fingers in and out rhythmically. He paused, leaning up to kiss him. Just then he pulled his fingers out, pushing himself in. 

Sirius was lost, letting out sounds and curses as he arched his back. Remus became lost in him as well, the smell of sweat and sex filling him. 

“Sirius-  _ shit _ \- I love you.  _ Ah _ \-  _ iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou. _ ” Sirius kissed Remus’ neck frantically, as if he needed it to live,  _ needed him to live _ . Both of them were so close as they slotted together, like pieces of a puzzle. 

Neither of them knew who came to a climax first, but it seemed that both of them fell together at the same time, holding each other as they came down. 

“Holy fuck- fuck. I love you- I love you so much… you make me feel so good.” Sirius babbled, head still tipped back against the bed. Remus smiled into his boyfriend's neck,

“I hope that helped make you feel better… anything to make you feel better.” Remus whispered, arms tight around him. 

“So much better- always.” Sirius responded. 

*

When Remus opened his eyes, he was pleased when he felt Sirius’ legs tangled with his. 

“Mmm Re?” Sirius mumbled, nose pressing into Remus’ jaw. 

“Hey love.” He responded, fingers dancing on Sirius’ back. 

“I don’t wanna get up.” Sirius whispered. 

“What’s wrong?” Remus asked, before the events of last night dawned on him. 

“It’s just- everyone else is gonna be asking about it.” He responded, swallowing before continuing,

“And I don’t want the snakes in your face with their fucking cameras.” He murmured, arms tightening a bit. Remus let out a deep breath, 

“Baby it's okay…” Remus said. Sirius sat up quickly, turning away from him. 

“Moony, it’s not okay. I brought you into this mess-” Before Remus could say anything there was a sharp knock at the door. Sirius looked at him, then at the door. Sirius slipped out of bed, pulling his jeans and sweater on over his naked body. Remus quickly got dressed as well, hoping to save himself from further embarrassment. Sirius looked through the peephole, letting out a sigh before opening the door. 

Minnie stood on the other side of the door, her face twisted in worry. 

“Sirius… I assume you’ve seen…” She started, looking nervously out in the halls. 

“Can I come in? Paparazzi have been lingering out here.” Sirius looked behind him to a worried Remus. 

“Yes, yeah. Come in.” 

Minerva entered, meeting Remus’ gaze. 

“Remus… hi.” She said, offering a sad smile. She leaned to sit on the bed across from the boy, looking down at her hands. 

“So erm- you’ve seen… everything.” She started, hands clasped in her lap. Sirius let out a displeased noise,

“Yeah, my lovely mother called me at two am.” Sirius grumbled, running a hand through his messy hair. 

“I’m assuming the man in the pictures is Remus…” She continued, loosely gesturing to the man in front of her. 

“Yes ma’am.” Sirius said quietly. Remus timidly moved his hand over to Sirius’, before the latter jerked his hand away from the touch. 

“Okay, good, good. We don’t need someone not in our circle giving- erm-  _ information _ .” Sirius looked at his lap. 

“Minnie you know I’m not like that-” He squeezed his eyes shut, hands on his knees. 

“Have you been keeping up with the feed?” Sirius shook his head. 

“No. No, I haven’t. I actually spent time sleeping and taking care of myself.” He snapped, still not looking up. Remus was taken aback at the sudden mood change,  _ this was his fault, oh god. _ Minerva stood up, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder. 

“Just try and take it easy, avoid the paparazzi, maybe send out a response. Take care boys. And I- I’m sorry.” And she exited the room. 

Sirius continued to look at his lap. Remus turned to him, taken aback when Sirius moved into him. 

“I’m so sorry.” he whispered softly, taking hold of the boy's shirt. 

“Hey, hey it’s okay. It’s not your fault.” He responded, wrapping his arms around Sirius’ shoulders. 

“No, but it is.” Sirius pressed. 

“I shouldn’t have kissed you in the first place love, and I’m sorry.” Remus whispered, causing Sirius to pull back. 

“No Re, this is  _ my _ fault, okay? You don’t need to take blame for this- I’m fucking reckless and don’t think about other people- I’m- I-” He gripped his hair tight, muttering something to himself. 

“Sirius please- this isn’t your fault-” but the boy cut him off. 

“No it is… I should just go… you shouldn’t love me, it’s a mistake.” Remus was left dumbstruck as Sirius grabbed his phone and wallet of the nightstand and left the room quickly. 

He went wide eyes as he finally processed what happened, tears beginning to roll down his face. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter :( new fic coming in a month or so so stay tuned :))
> 
> cbdhsjkvndfk also sorry this ends so abruptly

“Lily?” Remus asked timidly into the phone, trying desperately to keep his hand from shaking too much. 

“Re… I-” Lily started, before being abruptly cut off. 

“Do you know where he went?”

“What?” He could hear the concern in her voice. 

“Sirius left- I don’t know where he is.” Remus said, his throat tightening up. 

“No… I don’t know where he is. I’m sorry.” Without bidding goodbye, the boy quickly hung up. He opened Twitter, going straight to the trending page. His breath quickened as he looked at the pictures and tweets. 

_ #siriusblackisgay trending #3 in the United States _

Remus took a deep breath before clicking on it, looking at the first article to pop up. It was a picture of him and Sirius, kissing against the wall, and a short video from another angle. He didn’t notice how bad he was shaking as he continued to read. 

_ Sirius Black caught kissing a man at a party, is he gay? Is he bisexual? He is still yet to comment on the situation.  _

Remus let out a shaky breath, scrolling down more.

_ Can’t have shit- another fucking gay musician? Fuck this.  _

He dropped his phone onto the bed letting out a soft sob. 

“Fuck-” he muttered to himself,  _ he lost him, he’s going to lose everything.  _

*

He didn’t eat all morning,  _ hell he didn't even leave the bed _ . Call time came around soon, and Remus looked like  _ shit _ . He boarded the bus, not making eye contact with any of his friends. 

“Remus- you good?” Frank asked, taking a bite of a protein bar. Remus just shook his head, staying stagnant as the bus began to move. The other crew members looked at each other nervously as Remus went into autopilot, not talking to anyone as he began moving things into the venue. 

An hour passed like this, Remus staying completely silent, completely numb. He saw Sirius enter the venue, avoiding questions, avoiding confrontation. He got ready, his show clothes on and ear pieces in. Remus stared at him desperately, wanting to  _ talk _ to him, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Remus turned when he felt a hand on his shoulder, Lily with a gentle look on her face. 

“Love, it’s showtime.” She whispered, motioning Remus to stand. They walked to the edge of the stage, Remus feeling like his legs were going to buckle under him. 

Sirius’ voice rang out through the room, the crowd screaming. 

“So…” he started, 

“Some of you may have heard… about some  _ rumors _ … well- I am happy to say, fuck you to the paparazzi, fuck you to the media, and I fucking love my boyfriend- Now here’s Hogshead.” 

Remus felt his heart racing, his mind in so many places.  _ He still loved him- fuck he still loved him.  _ Remus watched Sirius intensely as the show went on, eyes fixated on him.  _ He loved him- helovedhimhelovedhimhelovedhim. _

Sirius yelled goodnight to the crowd and ran off stage, his eye’s meeting Remus’. They rushed into a hard kiss, both of their eyes threatening to cry. 

“I love you.” Remus muttered against his lips. He knew he couldn’t hear him, but he didn’t care. When they broke, Remus took a look around. Dorcas handing Marlene a dollar, Lily smiling wide,  _ and someone, bringing a camera down from their eye. _

Sirius turned his head, his smile slowly fading. Remus reached over, giving his hand a gentle squeeze and a smile. The boy's grin returned, throwing an arm over Remus’ shoulder. 

*

Remus stepped out of the shower, the cold air hitting his skin and making his shiver. Sirius pressed up behind him sleepily as the other boy wrapped a towel around his waist. 

“Hey there love.” Remus chuckled lightly, handing Sirius a towel of his own. Sirius shook his head, water flying around the bathroom. 

“You  _ ass _ .” Remus laughed, putting hands on either side of his face to hold his head. He pulled him forward into a sloppy kiss that became softer as the seconds ticked by. 

Sirius pulled away first, hearing a sound from the next room. He walked out of the bathroom, running the towel across his body to soak up the extra water. 

“H’llo?” Sirius said, voice tired and scratchy. 

“Mom… you’re drunk. What do you want?” Sirius’ face dropped a bit as the words flooded into his ears. 

“He- he what-? Okay, okay that’s enough.” Sirius hung up and tossed his phone onto the bed. He dried his hair with the towel as he began to rummage angrily through his suitcase. 

“Pads…?” Remus asked timidly, now dressed in a sweater and boxers. Sirius slipped joggers on quickly before turning. 

“The photographer was my brother.” Sirius blurted, sounding small. Remus took a step forward. 

“He’s the reason-“ Sirius swallowed,

“He’s the reason all of this happened.” Remus pulled him into a hug, letting Sirius bury his face in his shoulder. 

“My own brother…” he whispered, gripping onto the jumper. 

“It’s okay love… he- he couldn’t have wanted that for you.” Remus stuttered, trying to find the right words to say. Sirius just shook his head.

“I just don’t understand…” he mumbled, gripping tighter onto his boyfriend. Remus held him back, tracing shapes on his skin. 

“Love… it’s his job… I know it fucking sucks. Trust me. But- you have to talk to him about it. Plus, how did your mom know for sure?” Sirius breathing slowed a bit as Remus talked, subsequently pulling away to look at him. Sirius’ eyes were bloodshot and puffy. He pressed a soft kiss to the boy's cheek. 

“It’s gonna be okay.” Remus spoke softly, brushing the damp hair off of Sirius’ face. 

“Are you sure?” 

“I’m positive.” Sirius huffed, 

“Are you sure you ‘want  _ this _ ’ forever?” hand moving up and down. 

“I love you…” Remus whispered, kissing his boyfriend's head.

“I love you too.” 


End file.
